1ST Quarter_Week 6_Reflection/Discussion

Food for thought: Simply hearing does not equate to listening. In order for someone to fully listen, one must open not only their ears but also their heart and mind.

PROCESSING QUESTIONS:

1. How does communication breakdown affect our relationships with other people?

            In the negative aspect, it causes misunderstandings and miscommunication that chips away from the foundation of a good relationship. Although it may seem insignificant when you look at it in the distance, things are not as simple as they seem when you look at it closer. As time goes on, these small fractures accumulate until it completely breaks down the relationship. Not only that, these byproducts of communication breakdown can cause a great shadow in a person’s emotional and psychological perception of their relationship with other people. This might also affect them in creating new relationships as it brings unwanted memories and experiences.

            On, On the other hand, communication breakdown can also have a positive effect on relationships. As we all know, it is one of the most common problems that every relationship will face. Although it is hard to overcome, resolving it will cause the bond between two people to become stronger. It can also help them in facing future problems that may come in their current and future relationships.

            In layman’s term, communication breakdown can either make or break a relationship. It just depends on whether you can overcome it or not.

2. What was the type of communication that the girl mainly used (especially in the first part of the video) to express her feelings, and if Vincent paid attention to it, might have prevented the things that happened to them?

            The girl uses the emotional expression to show what she’s feeling. Right from the start, the look of satiety, irritation, and impatience are painted clearly on her face. It is evident that the girl is tired of continuing their relationship and that she wanted to end what they have. Sadly, Vincent wasn’t having it, and he continued to ignore the signs as the emotional blackmailer that he is.

In short, he is a very desperate and egotistic man who only sees what he wants to see. He already said right from the start that he knew that something was up with the girl. But instead of respecting what the girl wanted, he chose to ignore it like he always has.

3. What was the main issue between the 2 of them? Could it be resolved? Explain. 

            The girl is forced into a relationship with Vincent due to a series of misunderstandings on Vincent’s part. She gave him a chance (which is a big mistake) because she thought that there’s nothing wrong with trying, but it turns out that Vincent is an egomaniac who only listens to what he wants to hear.

Although it is not a bad thing to be superstitious, it is wrong if you let your superstition become your personality. That is precisely what happened to Vincent. He believes in destiny so much that it has become an excuse so that their relationship won’t end.

Of course, communication is a two-way road. Vincent is not the only one at fault here. The girl should’ve voiced out her feelings right from the start that she doesn’t want a relationship with him. She should’ve said no to Vincent’s persistence. Instead, she went along the flow and entered a toxic relationship in hopes that she will come to love him.

            This issue can be resolved, but resolving it will not fix their relationship. In the first place, it was all a one-sided pursuit of love coming from Vincent’s side. He kept on pushing his feelings unto her until the girl was pressured into saying yes. Once the girl accepted his feelings, their relationship warped into the abomination that I saw earlier.

            The girl feels shackled by his so-called love, but Vincent thinks otherwise. Vincent should open up his eyes so that he can see what he’s doing to her. But of course, he’s the victim in this situation (or so he says).

            “Have you ever tried lighting up a fire with a wet matchstick?” he said in a sad voice. Well, I would like to ask him: “Well, have you ever tried talking to a wall?” because that’s what it felt like, talking to you. I understand where he’s coming from, but his attitude of not listening has persisted for years. This means that the problem is with him. Every time the girl wanted to say something about her relationship, he just shut her out.

            Anyways, even if Vincent fixed his attitude towards accepting rejection, the damage has already been dealt with. The girl is already tired of continuing their relationship, and it is clear that Vincent’s “love” has already damaged her life to an extent. If they ever resolved their issue, their relationship is already a lost cause. They can only be friends (at most).

4. What lesson/s can we learn from Vincent and the girl? Explain.

            The two of them gave me a lesson on how good communication is an important ingredient in having a healthy relationship. Communication is a two-way road where two people must meet each other halfway to prevent conflicts and misgivings from happening.        

Vincent’s stubbornness and the girl’s initial complacency is a good example of what not to do. Pushing your feelings to someone is wrong, but going with the flow of misunderstandings is just as wrong. In a way, it’s both their fault. Of course, the girl has a change of mind because she regretted her decision to go along with what Vincent wants, and that’s a good start for her. With this, she’ll be able to escape the vicious cycle that they have going on. Hopefully, Vincent will learn to reflect on his ways of thinking and not act like he’s the victim of the situation (just like how he's narrating his story). Simply put, there are no victims. They are just two people lost in the wave of communication breakdown.     

All in all, this gives me a good idea of how to be a proper speaker and a good listener.